How to be the change you want to see: 4 steps to success

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This article will show you how to be the change you want to see so that it will be easier for you to manifest whatever you desire.

There are many things I would like to attract into my life of a daily basis: money, friends, happy relationships, stress-free journeys, parking spaces, a healthy body. Some of these things I have been successful in attracting, and some of them are still eluding me, even as I blog about the law of attraction and how to manifest things.

Yes, I’m human I guess, and I don’t get it right all the time. However, one thing I do understand, is that in order for me to attract anything into my life (be it one pound, a million pounds, a lover or a ticket to see my favourite show), then I have learned that I must change MYSELF first and foremost and ‘become’ i.e. resonate or vibrate at the same frequency of the thing I want. Then the law of attraction will respond in kind and the thing I want will be drawn into my experience.

By contrast, I have just witnessed 25 minutes of my 12-year-old daughter trying to get our cat, Whiskey, to sleep on her bed. Every night she goes through the same ritual of coaxing, frustration, anger and finally acceptance, when she realises that the cat is an independent being and she cannot ‘force’ him to do her will. She can shut the door obviously which prevents the cat from leaving the room temporarily, but she soon realises that this a futile effort because not only does it not bring about the quiet, loving cuddle that she craves, but it is even worse because now she cannot sleep because the cat keeps scratching at the door to get out.

“There is an easier way’ I explain as I watch her emotional cycle, night after night. “If you want the cat to come to you” I continue, “you have to be the kind of person that that cat wants to come to. You need to be a calm and loving person and you have to let go and trust that it will happen. You cannot force it. You need to be the change you want to see.”

Now I am not claiming some great spiritual insight here – “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a very famous quote from Mahatma Gandhi. But I am trying to offer an explanation as to why this statement is so true, so simple and so profound.

And it works. Sure enough, when my daughter adopted this new approach, by taking time to feed the cat herself, stroke him when walked past, speak gently and calmly to him, and think about how nice it would be to have the cat sit with her instead of how she could ‘make’ him; her world changed. And now, the cat actually tries to open the door into her room every night just so that he can be with her.

So how do we become the change we want? Here are my top 5 tips to help you manifest the things you want.

1. Observe what is already there to identify what you want

If there are things about your life that you want to change, the first thing to do is become consciously aware of them in an objective sense. Often, this happens the other way around and we first become aware of the things we don’t want through negative emotions. We feel bad because we don’t have the things we want, which then clarifies what we really do want.

As Esther Hicks always says: “When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want.”

So the first step is to identify the things you want and to notice where you are in relation to that. BUT, you should do this without judgment and try to be objective about it. Esther would say “You are where you are”. There is a problem if you begin to judge things, or worse, judge yourself negatively, because you can easily slip into negative thoughts and emotions related to that. So you start to tell yourself that you are not good enough, or smart enough, or rich enough…..the list you can create here is endless – usually untrue, but definitely endless.

When you do that, you also become a match for the things you don’t want, not the things you do want. And the universe will only bring you more of the same – like my daughter getting upset because the cat would not stay with her. The more upset she gets, the more the cat will not stay with her.

So notice where you are on your path, but realise that all roads can ultimately be your path and lead you to where you want to be. So there is no need to chastise yourself if you are not there yet. Just accept where you are and get a focus on your goal.

2. Model what you want

The second thing to do is to model what you want to do or be. In law of attraction terms, this means vibrating at the same frequency as the things you want, and the universe will respond to your new point of vibrational attraction.

This is where the Gandhi quote is so true: “Be the change you want to see in the world“. In order to attract change, we need to express the same energy as the endpoint so that the universe can respond.

Other systems of thinking will describe this in different ways but the outcome is the same. In NLP terms, we would call this ‘modelling’ i.e., by following successful people, doing what they do and adopting their thought processes and habits, people can achieve the same results. Others versions include the suggestion to ‘fake it till you make it’ which is the same thing.

All of these techniques have the same goal – to raise your vibration to that of the things you want. This is the way the law of attraction works – like attracts like so you really need to become the thing you want.

3. Change your thoughts and behaviour

The third tip is really an extension of tip 2 in that it relates specifically to changing your own behaviour and thought patterns directly. You cannot attract the things you want whilst still thinking about the things you don’t want.

For example, you cannot attract more wealth if your thoughts are stuck on the fact that you don’t have enough money. Nor can you attract a new lover if you are hung up about the last one that ‘got away’. Nor can you lose weight if when you look in the mirror, you keep seeing how overweight you are.

So you must change your own inner dialogue to reflect the things you want. If you want a loving relationship, you need to be a loving person. If you want to lose weight, you must recognise your inner beauty regardless of your weight and if you want more wealth, you must look with appreciation at all the things you already have.

Once you do this, you are on the way to changing your vibration but you need to get out of the way and set your ‘train of thought’ towards what you want rather than the lack of what you want.

Once you are able to do this, you will change your own vibrational energy in line with your desires, and you will literally change your world.

The challenge that most of us have with this is to do with habitual thinking and ingrained behaviours. It takes a conscious effort to change your thinking if you are used to always seeing the world in a particular way or always doing the same things. But that’s where your power lies. No matter what you currently think, you DO have the ability to change it. You do not need to be enslaved by the past, and you do have all that you need, because all that you need to do is change your thinking.

4. Let it go: Go with the flow and let the universe do its thing

Finally, you need to get out of the way and allow the universe to do its thing. The law of attraction works always, and is always responding to your vibrational energy.

The problem here is that many people say they want something, but they then set about trying to ‘force’ it to happen – a bit like my daughter with the cat. We humans often like to be in control of situations and often find it difficult to ‘let go of the reins’ but in doing this we often put a block on the very thing that we are hoping to get. Most of us are trying to paddle ‘upstream’ against what we don’t want, instead of letting go and going with the flow of what we do want.

For example, if we are wishing or hoping for more money, we might set up a mindset to increase our wealth. The universe will then set up over a hundred ways for example for us to receive more wealth. This could be through a better job, a pay rise, winning some money, an inheritance, a tax return, finding something valuable that we didn’t realise we had, a refund, a bank error, a charity donation, an increase in share prices, a free bus ride, a free meal………the list is endless……we cannot even conceive of all the possible permutations that are out there. And yet they are.

All these things could be set up for us to receive but if we then become fixated on only one way that we have decided is going to be the ‘one and only way’, then we rule out 99.9% of the possibilities and fixate on a tiny proportion of the ways.

For example, we might decide that the only way to increase our income is to win the lottery. So we start to play the lottery but we think constantly about the overwhelming odds that we ‘know’ about, and even if we win a few pounds, we do not recognise that as our ‘win’ because it is not the millions we have dreamt of. Then we begin to get discouraged and negative thoughts creep in. And we know what happens when negative thoughts creep in, right?

We could decide that we want a lover but it has to be this one special person (who may or may not feel the same way). We then fixate on them and try to force a relationship with them, which will inevitably fail.

If, on the other hand, we learned to let go and trust the universe, then the hundreds of other ways that the universe has access to would begin showing up. If we could trust awhile in the knowledge that more money, or a good relationship or good health was on it is way, then these things would start showing up in our life.

It would be even better if we could consciously notice when we got that free parking hour, or that free coffee, a smile from a stranger, or we felt invigorated in the morning, and give thanks to the universe for the little things, because that keeps us in the mindset of trust, and grateful for what we are being sent. Then you can totally expect the bigger things to start showing up too, but you might be pleasantly surprised as to the way that these things have come about.

So give up the control (except control of your positive thoughts that is) and let the universe work with you, for you and through you to bring you the things you desire.

There is another great technique that Esther Hicks and Abraham talk about in their books which I have found very useful if helping to ‘get out of my own way’ and let go of trying to make things happen. In the books, they suggest making a list of things that you want to achieve but instead of just writing a simple ‘To Do’ list, you separate things into:

  1. Things that you need to do
  2. Things that the universe needs to do

The benefit of this is that it allows you to concentrate on the simple things like buying a pint of milk or collecting the kids from school, and the bigger things like ‘increasing your income’ you leave to the universe.

Now you might find that when you do this, you receive some great inspirations about actions that you could take, (like rewrite your CV for example) but these will be coming from the universe to help you, it will not be from your conscious brain trying to force things. And although this is a subtle difference, it makes ALL the difference in the outcome.

Taking ‘inspired action’ is you, going-with-the-flow of the universe as it leads you to your goal. Expending lots of ‘effort’ to try to force a particular path or outcome is you unable to trust that what you want is on its way. Can you see how each approach will lead to a different vibrational output from you, and therefore a different outcome? One feels easy and one feels difficult, right? Choose the one that feels easy – let go and let it flow!

To conclude, we have covered 4 simple steps that if you follow, will easily help you become the change you want to see, and you can look forward to watching your world transform.

Wishing you well in your world.


The problem with the law of attraction and the law of attraction and problems

Gratitude and the law of attraction

How to find happiness through unconditional living

Ways to raise your vibrational energy


Posted in Law of attraction basics, Self-Development.

Hi. I'm Gail and I'm a teacher, coach, writer and blogger who has been involved with self-development and the performing arts for over 30 years. I'm passionate about helping people to develop their full potential and I've studied education, the law of attraction, personal development and NLP which I write about on this site.

I love working with people of all ages and backgrounds and truly believe that we are all unique, unlimited creative beings who can do wonderful things with a positive attitude and spiritual outlook on life.

Here's to your continued success.



  1. Wow, I love this article. I went through a lot in my life and taking these different steps helped me so much and pushed me to become an entrepreneur today. I learned that being angry at myself or blaming others didn’t bring me anywhere in life. SO I decided to model what i always wanted to be. Now I’m a lot happier and stopped looking at myself as failure or as a victim.

    • Dear Rachel. I’m really pleased that you liked the article and that you have found the law of attraction in your own life. I use it daily to connect to my higher self and allow things to flow to me that I choose for my life. It’s a great feeling to know that you can create the life you want and it’s fun to watch things fall into place bit by bit. The way you think is crucial to what you attract so changing your mindset from victim to creator is perfect. Thanks for reading.

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