Happy New Year!
We all say it at this time of year, but this blog will not be my usual “Happy New Year one and all” that often gets churned out although I’m positive there will be a lot of those emails to read in the next few hours.
No, this is not about wishing you a Happy New Year, but about how you can MAKE this your own Happy New Year.
And it does come from my heart, with love to you.
What I really want to remind you all is that you are in control of your own future, and your happiness comes from within you, and from nowhere else.
With that in mind, read on to discover my top 5 tips for helping you create your very own “Happy New Year”.
1. Know that YOU, and only you, creates how you feel
Yes it’s true that we can all allow ourselves to be influenced by others, but understand it is YOU who has control over your thoughts and feelings. Other people may tell us things or behave in ways that we determine are designed to upset us, but it is not them that makes us feel anything at all. It is us. I’m in control of how I feel and you are in control of how you feel. No one else is given the power to make you FEEL anything unless you pass that power on to them. But many of us do that because we don’t understand where are own power comes from.
For example, let’s say you pass a stranger in the street who remarks that “you are a loser” – what do you do? Most likely, by the time you’ve actually registered what they said, you’ll continue walking and laugh quietly to yourself, thinking ‘what’s their problem?”. But let’s say your father now says the same thing to you – how do you react then? If you’re like most people, you will probably take the whole thing more seriously. You may begin to wonder if he’s right and question yourself. Fairly soon you may be on that slippery slope, allowing yourself to feel negative about the whole thing.
But understand this – it is not your father who makes you feel this; it’s YOU. You are the one going over what they said in your mind. You are the one giving you the negative self talk. You are making the judgment here against you, regardless of what your father said. What would happen if you decided to treat it in the same way you treated the comment from the stranger? What would happen if you just brushed it off and laughed?
Chances are you would feel better, right? Of course – because YOU have all the power over you!
2. Look for your joy and happiness regardless of the conditions that currently surround you
Positivity breeds positivity! Like attracts like and good thoughts attract more good thoughts that can then turn from thoughts into things! And the same is true in reverse….but we won’t linger on those. Whatever your situation today, there will ALWAYS be something you can focus on that will make you feel better. All you need to do, is to stop focusing on the negative things, and look for the little things that make you smile, and focus on those. Like the story of “The Professor’s Test”, don’t cloud your mind with things that make you feel sad or depressed. If you do that, you’ll only get more of the same. Instead, find something around you to be grateful for; it might be the sun, rising every day, or you could appreciate the amazing natural world that surrounds you, or listen to a song you love, or stroke your pet, or just find pleasure in the little things…..and you know what? You’ll find that those larger things start to look after themselves.
3. Make sure your words and deeds are also focused on the positive
Everything you say and everything you do has an impact on you and your happiness, because you will have a reaction to it. When we are angry, we are usually mostly angry with ourselves for some reason….because we didn’t do something or because we did something we regret. In searching for your happiness this year, make sure that everything you say and everything you do is done with love and understanding. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Speak to others as you would like to be spoken to. And send your thoughts and words with love.
This is true even if you are voicing a concern to someone – there are many ways you can express yourself – with love or with anger for example. You might want to say “I really hate the way you do that (whatever that is), or “You make me sick….” but think what this negativity is doing to you.
Instead, why not try: “I know you’re a good person, and I’m certain that you have our best intentions at heart when you do or say something, however, have you considered that you might get a better response if you approached things in a slightly different way? …..”
Starting from this approach yourself, will get a better outcome for all.
4. The first rule is….love yourself
Many people dislike hearing this because they feel it is a ‘selfish’ thing to do. And in some ways, it is! But it is the only way in which you can proceed with authenticity and unconditional love.
Let’s look at this logically….to begin with, the only person who will be with you for your entire life, is you! You’re the only one there, from the day you are born to the day you die. Sobering, isn’t it?
So if you are not prepared to love and nurture you, who is?
You must start to love and appreciate yourself for the spiritual, amazing and unique human being that you really are, because if you don’t, and you experience situations like the one described in point one above, you will start to doubt yourself, and you will no longer need your father (or mother, brother, teacher, friend or enemy) to try to put you down and tell you that “you’re a loser”, because you will become your own worst enemy and start telling yourself! And worse than that, you’ll start to believe it!
So don’t, Stop and take a step back, and resolve to kinder to yourself in 2020!
Know your worth. You really are the most amazing individual and your talents and gifts are unique to you. So don’t hide them, embrace them – dare I say, share them.
Love yourself. For you’ll soon learn that when you do, what you have to offer to everyone else increases too!
5. Share your happiness and spread joy
This one is easy, because it’s what we want to do naturally.
Follow the first four tips and find your happiness. And then, when you understand who you are, your own power and love yourself for it, you’ll be able to spread that knowledge to others to help them find their own joy.
And there is no greater happiness than that!
Unfortunately, most people are still trying to find happiness in all the wrong places…….perhaps in a new house, a new car, career, dress, body image or relationship…….the list is truly endless. However, happiness will never be found in things outside of ourselves, even though we think it is. It is always found within.
We may appreciate fine things and crave more of everything, and there’s nothing wrong in that either. But true happiness starts WITHIN US. And that’s perfect because it means we already have everything we need in order to find it. Then be wise, and pass on your knowledge to everyone; not in a dictatorial way, but by example. For when you have found your bliss and live in it daily, others will ask you how you do it……..and then you can enlighten them.
Happy New Year everyone!